Only upto the age of 10 depending on the severity of the wrong. What we are talking about here is what we refer to as disciplinary action, or as the schools used to call it corporal punishment, at least that's what my schools called it here. Normally if you screw up in school the principle would call the parents and get prior authorization to administer the paddle, sometimes the parents were called in to observe. Many thought that this type of punishment, or reinforcement was cruel and unusual punishment and many school districts done away with it all together, actually what happened is that a couple of sissy principles and counselors thought it a sadistic act and done away with it all together. I believe through my own experience that corporal punishment has it's benefits in most instances. The association of pain, when you do a wrong, reinforces your thought process, to not repeat the offence, kinda like the first time you stuck your finger in a light socket! Actually the worst kind of punishment you can do to a child is refuse them the love of a parent, ignoring them and not giving them any attention can drive a child up the wall if not insane, because a child wants to be loved and accepted, and if they displease a parent and that parent takes that emotional connection away, it can be devastating to a child. This is the new modern psychology for children, children want to please their parents, sometimes spanking them gives them the attention they were after in the first place and it defeats the purpose altogether. What the parent needs to assess before applying punishment is whether the child knowingly did the wrong to get attention, or if the child did it unknowingly or unwillfully. Sometimes kids get into trouble through no fault of their own, they to can be in a situation at the wrong time or place. The best form of punishment is isolation, like grounding, that means no TV, no video games, no stereo, no friends, etc. etc. But isolation doesn't mean grounding them to the house or their room. If the child did something wrong, they obviously unknowingly or wanted to draw attention to themselves or test the waters. Well, let them know that your watching them and paying attention to them by giving them some chores to do, let them think about their wrong doing as they mow the lawn, pull some weeds in the garden, or move a pile of rocks from one side of the yard to another, or even volunteer them for a community work program, believe you me, that child will be to busy to get into anymore trouble. Hard labor/work; IS THE ULTIMATE CHARACTER BUILDER and THE BEST POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT PUNISHMENT ever concieved. Your not being a mean or cruel parent, your administering tough love, when the child grows into an adult, they will understand. And if they don't, that just means they have a lot more growing up to do.

Many people have been raised with the idea that corporal punishment (spanking) is necessary and appropriate. While I think it's possible for a stable, mature, and well-grounded parent to use spanking as one of their tools without falling into abuse, the fact remains that spanking is often abused and the cultural support for it becomes justification for brutality. A stable, loving home can provide the framework to raise children without spanking with less risk of psychological side-effects. If someone is going to use spanking, it's very important that they maintain a level of awareness which allows them to see when they're angry. The child knows when you're angry, and if the child learns that your anger is driving the punishment, that is a very harmful lesson for them to internalize -- "violence IS the answer", and they are very likely to hear that message loud and clear and take it with them into adulthood. So a parent needs to be calm: walk away, breathe, don't react. If you're going to spank, do it after you've had some time to settle down and make sure the child understands that you love them, and that you're not expressing your anger but trying to help them become a good person. With all of that said, it's better to learn to do without spanking altogether. The last bit of this is about abuse: in the U.S., if you leave a mark on the child -- a bruise or welt -- that's considered cause to investigate for child abuse. Yet another reason to find other forms of consequence for child misbehavior.

I think that teaching morality and behavioral patterns based upon, "Do not do this, or you will be hit," is a lazy cop-out, and calling it discipline is a justification for continuing physicial violence in a family line. I think people do this partly to avoid criticizing their own parents, partly from habit, and quite a bit from unwillingness to put the effort into learning another, better way. If you actually are using another object with which to hit children, you are increasing the momentum, and the impact/pain of your strike on the child. At this point, there is no escaping the fact that you are being abusive. I think Christians in favor of spanking are looking for passages in the Bible to justify social tradition that they are not willing to abandon. Honestly, how many people (adult or child) did Jesus teach and/or correct by hitting/spanking them? I also get tired of the argument that lack of spanking equates to lack of discipline.

i don't believe in physical discipline. i think that the lines of what's ok and what's not are too easily crossed. a parent who usually spanks with their hand in an acceptable manner can get angry and spank too hard or anything like that. i don't believe in spanking with objects because unless it's stinging the skin of the spanker there is little way to tell how it feels to the spankee.

If its used properly but i believe it takes a few rounds to spank them. If they hit for example and i say dont for 3 times then yeah i think spanking would come in place.

In most circumstances I think spanking is unnecessary. A person should have enough verbal control over (and respect from) their child to deal with most things. However, there are some circumstances where a spanking could really benefit a kid. For instance, say you've warned your little one to stay away from the hot stove, or to keep away from the dog while it's eating, or to stay away from the road. If the child is too young to understand *why* and understand the dangers, then he's probably going to do it anyway like children do. (Obviously you should always keep an eye on a small child, but we all know that that isn't always how it works out.) Things like this can be very dangerous for a kid, so in a case like this a spanking could get through to the kid that you mean business. It could prevent something even worse from happening, like getting burned, bit, or run over. I'd also say that it's most effective if you can catch them in the act. If too much time elapses between the action and the punishment, they might not connect the two. It depends on the age though. My own personal thoughts are that a spanking by hand is plenty enough to get your point across. It should be just enough to get their attention and make them not want to do it again. Anything beyond that is not helpful. One swat that catches them by surprise is enough for most kids. In fact, a well-timed swat doesn't even hurt! It just catches them off guard. I would also add that a person should never mete out punishment when they are angry. A simple spank and a stern "stay away from the stove/dog/road" is enough. After a little time has passed it can help to sit the little kid down and reassure them that you love them, but that you don't want them to get hurt. These are my thoughts on the issue of spanking under certain circumstances. I'm a big believer in the bible and it encourages parents to discipline their children in a Godly way. Spanking, used correctly, can be one way of doing so, but in most circumstances there are more effective ways of disciplining.

I do it, but I only use my hand. And only when needed. I have two very headstrong children and a time out for something sever just doesn't get the message across. As for it making children violent or teaching them that violence is how you solve problems it didn't do it for me and my sons don't act that way either. They understand the swat is a punishment and to act out in violence will get you punished as you acted. We also talk about why they got punished. They also don't see me as this evil mother who hits them. They see me as a loving and caring parent who is trying to raise them to be moral, disciplined, and responsable men. The most violent people I have come across in fact were not spanked as children. Or if the were it wasn't discipline it was full on abuse. These people have no fear of the reprocussions for their actions and have no understanding of self control. Nor do they have any respect or empathy for others because they were not taught that. In effect by not doing their parental duty their parents have failed.

For things that could harm them I will spank their butt. If they cross the street without looking..if they go near outlets with objects,if they reach for the stove,if they open the door before loooking out the window first etc. but only for those things. If they are just mis-behaving or rude then its to their bedroom to sit on their bed and do nothing until the egg timer goes off ( I put the egg timer in their room) usually about 15 min. then we go about our day and dont talk about it again because once the punshiment is over its over.

it is stated in the bible too that children should be hit as punishment else it will be the parents who will suffer when they grew up.. slippers or belt can be use as long as you just hit them enough to make them realize that what they did was wrong..of course just hit them at the butt not anywhere else you want!..

i think a slap doesnt do any harm, well it didnt do me any harm but i think its wrong to use a belt etc to disciplin a child. also its important to let the child know why they have been slapped.

I was generally spanked with belts, but use my hand for my daughter. Sometimes you have to hurt the child via spanking in order to get your point across, and I know 99% of the people on this site don't agree with that, but I think that sometimes it's necessary. I used to babysit a little boy that would laugh when his mother would "pop" him on the legs, wouldn't listen to her when she asked to do something, didn't care about time out. Getting hit with a belt made him stop and think because it physically affected him. I never saw anything that I would consider abuse out of that house, and I don't think that my parents abused me by using a belt. Using extension cords, wire hangers, shoes, wooden spoons, fists, phone cords, pop bottles, and things of that nature is excessive. I don't think that getting a switch or belt is bad, when it's controlled spanking and it's clear to the child what the punishment is for.

I think spanking is sometimes necessary for some (but not all) children. I ALWAYS use my hand to spank. That way I can regulate exactly how much it hurts. I think if you hit children with other items it is MUCH too easy to hit hard enough to actually hurt them. Ask your church if they think God disciplines us? Do they view HIS hands as "loving objects" or also as "just objects"? They are not applying their theology so much as they're making up new rules for "modern" reasons. In my experience, parents who use paddles, belts, switches, etc. tend to move fairly rapidly into an area I would consider abuse. They leave bruises. They hit in anger. They do not understand that punishing IS loving. I would not continue attending a church with skewed theology and such a drastic misunderstanding of God.

Sure it's arguably an affective method of disciplining children... But Stalin had a very effective method of controlling the population of Russia too, that didn't make it acceptable ; ) This world won't advance very effectively if we raise children to believe that hurting other people is acceptable AT ALL. Reward the good in children, not punish the bad : /

Spanking isn't appropriate at anytime. THere are better less hurtful ways of disciplining a child. All spanking does is teach the kid waht NOT to do to avoid getting spanked, it does not teach a child what the RIGHT thing to do is.

Some do and some doesn't.

yes a good clip under the ear off my dad never did me any harm,it's like a sharp wakeup and i laugh about it now cause i reckon i deserved it

yes!...its worked for generations and very well

Let's consider the question from the kid's standpoint. First, how old is the child? And who is it who decides what is misbehaving? Children don't look at the world the way adults do. A kid who plays with his food is experimenting and discovering. To the parent this is messy and, if in public, embarrassing. So the parent tells the kid to "stop playing with your food". But the kid isn't "playing", he/she is exploring. So the kid keeps on whatever he/she is doing. Now the parent hits the kid. Why. Because the parent feels he/she is embarrassed, that he/she is not being given teh honor and respect they're entitled to and because the kid "dispbeyed". What is accomplished by this striking? Nothing. The kid doesn't understand anything other than mom/dad is upset. And the kid doesn't know why. Better to dsitract the kid, give him/her love and avoid the striking. I beleive when a parent strikes a kid it is an admission of failure on the part of the parent that he/she hasn't really understood the kid. No, I do not believe parents should strike their kids. Would the parent like to be struck for continuing to do something that they were told not to do?

ABSOLUTELY.....worked for me. I've only got two assault charges on my recored, but the anger management classes have really helped:) Seriously, I think a little corporal punishmnent and tough love is appropriate under certain circumstances. We are after all animals and respond accordingly.

i got hit as a kid and i love my parents. i never got hit for no reason. mainly for being utterly disrespectful or when compromising my own safety. it worked. i never got grounded. when i grew up and lived on my own was when i was able to decide how to run my own life. not all but some of the lessons i learned i live by to this day. there is a HUGE difference between dicipline and abuse. HUGE. People should consider that. all this "time out" nonsense is destroying the children. they are more ill behaved than ever before.

I sure do. There'd be less problems.

no, if they do it means they've totally lost control

Just Because you believe in it, does not mean you have to use it all the time. let the punishment fit the crime. have a set of rules, and what punishment goes with want Wrong. the trouble with the old days is there were to many spankings for no reason, and they got the reputation as abuse. now there are not enough spankings, and very little discipline, drop out rates soaring, teen crime and teem pregnancy is through the roof... the parents have lost sight of their job, to raise and discipline their children, not to be their friends.

Surly some believe in spanking and some do not. I personally believe in discipline which may or may not result in a spanking.

I believe in spanking because it does exist. I personally don't think it is right to hit children and where I live it is illegal.

" I before E exept after C"

Not my parents. :)

I was. It didn't kill me. I won't beat my kids but there is something called discipline. I think this country has lost the value of discipline and a lesson between what is right and wrong has been lost somewhere. Abuse is wrong but raising a child without fear of consequences has filled our prisons and brought our nation to a new low.

There's no such thing as "just a spanking". And if parents had self control, they wouldn't resort to abusing their kids (I'm not afraid to call it what it is. If trolls want to downrate me, so be it). Like I said before, if you choose to hit your kids, I hope they kill you with a crowbar in your sleep. It would serve you right.

No, not at all. If parents resort to hitting their children, then they are teaching them that violence is right. If the kid is young, like too young to understand "no" then I would be all for a little tap on the back of the hand, but it shouldn't hurt, just to show them that what they are doing is wrong.

heck yes. my parents spanked me whatever it was i did wrong, i don't ever remember getting a spanking for the same reason twice and i don't remember being spanked very often nor do i remember having many problems with my parents out in public or having temper tantrums at my house. and i'll do it to my kids one day too - and no it's not beating them

when you discipline you child it does not mean that you dont love him/her but you want a better life and good thing for them. so i think we should teach them the way that they should go and to live a better life. [email protected]

I think that proper spanking, not in anger, is just one tool available to discipline children.

HECK YEA! yelling or trying to just talk to them doesn't always work. I mean c'mon, a 7 year old troublemaker, you yell at them, oooooooooooo that must be painful. My god yelling is nothing in my world. big deal. I fell no pain when I get yelled at...i don't think that its right to spank them the very first time, but if they continuously do the same thing over and over I think they deserve a little time of unconsciousness

YES

Its there kids I dont see why they shouldn't, a spanking is different from a beating. More kids should be spanked especailly now days and so futire generations wont be so crazy.

Sure, as long as they don't mind being put in nursing homes when they're older. 'Cause that's what's going to happen.

Yes, I was when I was growning up. I have 3 children of my own and I have tryed the timeout thing and it does not work! Now there is a differance in spanking and beating though, a spanking is short, quick, and to the point and you have to make sure your child understands why he/she was getting a spanking, beating is forceful, drawnout and all the time, I don't agree to that kind of discipline.

yes and flog if this fails.

Yes. But let me qualify that answer. A spank is different than a spanking. One swat on the butt does not constitute a beating, nor should it qualify as corporal punishment. Also, a spanking needs to come from a burning desire in your heart to guide your child lovingly in all ways, not from the angry place inside you. I spank (swat, really) but it is never my first reponse. It ecalates up to a swat if I am not listened to. I always give my child the chance to do the right thing first, so that she can feel good about herself and her accomplishments. Basically, that is what discipline is really all about.....it is meant to build up a child, not tear them down.

Yes, but only when they are consistant. I think it borders on abuse when parents are not consistant and little ones don't know if this time they will get a spanking or if mommy and daddy will just laugh.

yes

Yes..."spare the rod, spoil the child", Proverbs 13:24..

yes. but they shouldn't be allowed to abuse

Absolutely. A good spanking does wonders.

Yes...

Definitely! But you should never spank your child in anger.. because thats when things go from spanking to beating.

If you think you can stop them you are nutz... yes they are already allowed to spank... I remember being spanked as a kid... even in public... can't say if it worked or not but i do think that the favor was returned when i embarrassed my parents in public

As long as it's just a spanking and not a beating I think it's alright. I was spanked as a child and I never turned out to be a psychotic, abusive axe murderer.

Yes... Within bounds. Open hand ONLY (no "tools"), Covered butt ONLY (dress, pants, diaper), One or two swats ONLY (only want to redden the butt, not leave welts - ONE will usually suffice, but now and then, two may be REQUIRED for them to REMEMBER), The spanker SHOULD NOT be angry at the time of the spanking. (My parents did this by my mother deciding when to spank, my father doing the spanking when he got home from work, after being told what we did.) The reason being that when you're angry, you sometimes don't realize how hard you are spanking. The bare hand rule also helps in this. If it's hurting YOU, it's DEFINITELY hurting THEM. Many times, also, one swat on the butt is to get the kids' attention, usually as a surprise to them. Why? A kid goes hysterical in the store. A single swat makes them pause, realize that you HAVE heard them, and gives you a chance to talk to them. And, sometimes, a "time out" or "grounding" should be a followup. Remember, though, that these mean no TV, no tunes, no phone, no computer, no games (video or otherwise), no friends, etc.

Once in a while when everything else fails yes a spank on the bottom is fine.

I think it's the lazy way to get a childs attention and says more about how frustrating being a parent is. How many parents can honestly say that when they have smacked their child they have been calm and composed. Using other non-physical punishments means that they will have been thought out with a level head.

Each other, yes, their children, no. There are ways to discipline children other than spanking them. In China children respect their parents due to the Confucian doctrine of filial piety.

Only rarely enough for the child to realise that something they did or said was so bad, they had the ultimate punishment, so it is a detterant

yea, there is a fine line between spanking and beating a child. It shouldn't ever be crossed.

If they really deserve it then yes, there's nothing wrong with spanking them on butt, never slap them in the face or anything like that though.

Should we be allowed to? It is perfectly legal in my state. should more parents take advantage of this right? Most certainly.

NO! Spanking FOR CONSENTING ADULTS ONLY!!! It is illegal to lay a hand on another adult. It is called assault. I could care less the reason for wanting to do it to a child. Dicipline or not. I know parents don't want to abuse their kids, but this is just what it is. It is old fashoned barbaric method. There are other more effective ways to deal with children without laying a hand on them. I live in a country where it is illegal to do it and I must say the children here are way better behaved in public then I ever saw in the US where I am from.

Children no, Its a fine line to cross and when people are angry that line then gets harder to see, which is what my parents did. I dont spank my children, there are other ways to disapline a child and they have worked for me, it just takes patience and persistance.:-)+

I am going to side with the majority and say yes. I have had to spank my 14 year old daughter twice.Just the fact that I have spanked her in the past lets her know that it could happen,and keeps her from pushing far enough to get spanked.

I did. they are a bit old now but I would do it all over again. Abuse and teaching your child between right and wrong are worlds' apart

infrequently if at all, only for discipline, not punishment...

you will never get everyone to agree on this. I spanked my son and he is a wonderful young man. I was abused at times but I was also spanked as a child and I know the difference and there is a difference. For some kids, time out works. For some kids, you can look at them wrong and they tow the line. I know some kids that NOTHING works. I do not see anything wrong with it.. spanking not abuse..spanking does NOT cause a child to grow up to be violent.. that is bull. I work with kids in school that are violent who apparently have had NO discipline of any sort and all you have to do is talk to their parents and you know that. If you spank a child and the behavior stops, it's effective discipline.

Let's back up a bit. Why can't we develop a law that makes parents go to a full course of parenting classes before they become parents? If they don't complete the course, DFCS removes the child until they do.

i believe in spanking...some confuse spanking with abusive beating...according to DHR it is spanking if it only stings a little or only hurts their feelings it isnt abuse unless it leaves a mark even a tiny one.

I've never known it to cause any lasting trauma. Not for me, not for my siblings, not for any other kid I ever knew. So why not?

There's definitely a difference between spanking and abuse. Spanking was also done in my school... and I don't see a thing wrong with it, as long as it's few and far between (the more they get the less serious it will seem to them) and it's for disciplinary purposes.

I think so,when I was a kid I got beat when I messed up so did my brother and sister.There is this bad little kid that lives down the street from me,and his parents don't spank him but they do put him in time out.This does nothing for him he is 10 and he swears at his mom and dad and he is so bad.I really think he needs to be spanked.

Personally, I'm going to say no. Physical harm cannot be tolerated.

I only remember one spanking and I got it because I did not make it clear enough to my parents where I was going to be, and as far as they were concerned I was missing for about 2 hours. I was mad about it for a long time, because I didn't think it was my fault and as usual as a kid I was right and my parents were just evil. After that they never had to wonder where I was again though, and as I got older I understood more about why it happened. Not against spanking, from personal experience.

Yes and I think it should be done more.Sometimes when I am at the store I see kids doing bad things and I think when I was a kid and did something like that I would get a spanking rite there on the spot.I think now days there are way too many soft parents out there who let there kids do anything they want,with out getting a serious punnishment.

u r not abusing them, u r trying 2 discipline and teach. kids test u 2 c how far can u go and how much can u take, and u have 2 let them know who is the parent

yes but not with a shooe

Yes you shooed but onlee if u do it with da shooe.

Of course. Beat the hell out of them. Teach them that violence is the answer to every question. Do you ever stop to think that children don't think like we do? When a child does something that upsets an adult, the child is not trying to upset the adult. But the upset adult frequently fails to recognize that and simply reacts out of being upset...and spanks the child. So the child doesn't understand the connection between what he did and the punishment. Children should be loved and hugged, endlessly. They can be diverted instead of being told "no". Don't spank. Love and cherish and teach them to love and cherish in turn. Take the time to learn what is important to your child and encourage him/her in life. Support them, don't beat them. They will be better human beings for being loved.

Well, it straightened me out, so sure.

if they spell like that, sure

Absolutely.

The word is 'should' and since you have this question under child abuse you have already made your mind up on the issue.

Huh? You mean spank my children with my "shooes?" Of course not! Lol.

It depends on the parent, the situation, and if it's a swat to get their attention or a spanking to hurt them. 98% of the time, no, I don't. There are more effective ways of handling discipline.

Oh yes. We have three children and my husband more than I use this for punishment. It normally comes as a last resort but lately they've been acting out. So the rule is now; your reminded of the rule and if it happens again they're getting spanked. I can't believe it really has been working.

To spank your child only affirms the belief that it is acceptable to use physical punishment as a means to maintain control in a "fear" based environment. You are also teaching your child that it is acceptable to spank your grandchildren in the future... and so on. People that say "Yes" to spanking are continuing an outdated and honestly manipulative tradition. It makes me sick. Wake up people. Your actions are speaking much louder than your words right now. Peace and love.

Yes.

95% of the world still spanks... only in the countries that are too modern for spanking is crime up, drug use up, literacy is down, narcissism is up, rspect for authority is down and abuse is UP. how stupid

It never did me any harm and i wasnt naughty very often, my sister does the naughty coner and i have seen my nice quite happily going to sit in it and finds it quite amusing and happy to do so.

It's not wrong, but it's uncomfortable. I wouldent to it to my girl.

no it's not.We need more parents who are willing to be parents and do their job of discipling (spanking). Kids are growing up spoiled and they are "in control". Parents need to regain control and spanking DOes NOT make them violent or hate them later on. parents who spank their kids love them

I think it is (in moderation) the best solution with children up to 11/12 as it appeals to the basic human/animal instinct. If I do that particular thing again I will suffer pain. If it ain't broke don't try to fix it.

I was spanked occasionally, and I was never hurt.

I think a swat on the butt has its place...as long as your not scaring them when you do it (Like your so mad they don't know what to expect)

I think if it works for a parent then it should be done. Some children could care less when you spank them. They act like it doesn't even faze them. Plus it is the parents business and their business only. As long as the child isn't being abused.

I don't think it's wrong for a parent to discipline their children from spanking. Beating is another thing altogether. I was spanked all the way up till I was 11 or 12, then my dad sat me and my sister down and told us he wasn't going to do that again, because we should learn that men shouldn't hit females. But there is a point in age that you should stop. I don't think you should spank them in public, but in private at home. It's no ones business really. Just don't get carried away in anger and not know when to stop hitting, that's when it becomes abuse. But one thing might work for one child, and not work for another.

A swat on the rear of a slap to a hand is fine with me....I never swatted more then once....then they were sent to their room.....

I don't see a problem with it as long as it doesn't harm the child. A little pop on the rear can be a good thing.

Other methods should be utilized first. If spanking is used the parent has to be careful that it doesn't escalate into abuse.

it has its place just like grounding and time out. all of one thing doesnt do anyone any good and simply leads to frustration. moderation of all is the key. have a discerning mind to know what is appropriate. and i do believe that there are instances where spanking is appropriate. when my parents spanked me, they first sent me to my room to think about it and then came up (calmly and rationally) and talked to me about what i had done wrong and why it wasnt appropriate behavior. then i would get a swat maybe two and then they would hug me after. its all about the context that you put it in. people quote "spare the rod, spoil the child" in the Bible all the time and use it as an excuse to beat their children, but they forget the verse after and even the rest of Biblical context that says, "if you love your child, discipline them." Parents are called to love their children and discipline and punishment are a part of it. its all about HOW you do it. Moderation. Discerning. Hope this helps!! God bless!!

Yes I think it is ok to spank as long it is only the once and not used as a punishment all the time...

No spanking in this house. I find other ways to get my point across, and yes, my children are well-behaved and disciplined. I grew up around physical abuse, and long ago I decided that absolutely no one would be allowed to physically "punish" anyone in my household, no matter how "harmless" it seemed.

Just like most of the others I thinking spanking is fine, again as long as it is just spanking...not beating. I believe it does depend on what the child has done.... the punishment needs to fit the behavior.